How to Confront Sin – Meditations on Nehemiah 5

So I said, "The thing that you are doing is not good. Ought you not to walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies? Moreover, I and my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Let us abandon this exacting of interest. Return to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive orchards, and their houses, and the percentage of money, grain, wine, and oil that you have been exacting from them." (Nehemiah 5:9-11)

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    I hate confrontation. It's uncomfortable and I never know when it's going to backfire. But sometimes confrontation is necessary. The consequences are too great if certain behavior is not addressed. When I used to manage a restaurant, I was always having to talk to one person or another about their behavior. To be honest, I wasn't the best at it. Usually, I either blew up and attacked the person along with the behavior or I blew smoke - I fumed and worried about their behavior and then, when I finally spoke with them, the speech that I'd rehearsed in my head for so long turned out to be more of an apology for bothering them than a reprimand.

    I doubt that I'm the only one who dislikes confrontation. I'm also pretty sure that there are others like me in the way that they respond. We don't like what confrontation does to us: it forces us to expose our emotions to ourselves and ourselves to others. Will we find something in ourselves that we don't like? Will the other person take offense and quit the job, relationship, church? Those of us who are positions of authority (and most of us are: parents, business owners, babysitters, teachers, managers, etc.) would do well to learn from Nehemiah's example.

    Nehemiah didn't lose his temper and blow up when he heard that certain people were exploiting their fellow Jews. We saw this yesterday. He took a moment to take counsel with himself and evaluate the situation. But he also avoided the tendency to sugarcoat the reprimand. He didn't beat around the bush when he confronted them. He spoke plainly and described their behavior in specific terms: "You are exacting interest, each from his brother" (Neh. 5:7). He didn't make any attempt to hide his frustration or to apologize for being confrontational. He was still angry with them for selling their brothers to their own people (Neh. 5:8). He freely expressed his emotions without allowing his emotions to control his response. He then told them that their behavior was unacceptable and sinful: "The thing that you are doing is not good. Ought you not to walk in the fear of our God to prevent the taunts of the nations our enemies?" (Neh. 5:9). He also demanded that they make things right and give back every thing that they had taken (Neh. 5:11).

    Notice that Nehemiah never demeans or belittles those whom he is reprimanding. He makes the reprimand about the behavior, not about the individual. The behavior is wrong, unacceptable, and must change. The consequences for refusing to change are severe. But there is no character assassination going on here. The aim is restoration, to correct the behavior and restore the individual.

    How do you respond to the sinful behavior of people under your authority? Do you blow up or blow smoke? What can you learn from Nehemiah's example? Comment on this post and share your experience.